Overheard: the worst date in the world

The 476 bus from Stoke Newington, Sunday afternoon

"Yeah I went to sleep," the girl says

"You always go to sleep. You want to get drunk more."

"Hmmm. You wouldn't like me when I'm drunk. I get annoying."

"Me and my friend were in a pub in West London the other day and the people sitting next to us got up and they both left half-pints behind, so we drank them, and then we went round drinking other people's drinks that they'd left behind, and we got wrecked, oh well not wrecked, but we had a lot of drinks all for free, and then this girl left half her dinner so I was like 'are you going to finish that' and she said no so i got half a cold roast dinner as well, it was brilliant."

"Hmmmm."

"I've got hundreds of CDs, I hope you like CD shopping cos we're going to spend at least an hour in the CD shop."

"I don't really buy CDs anymore, I just download stuff."

"Do you know about Olympic weightlifting, the bar right in the Olympic weightlifting weighs 20 kilos on its own, so you know if you're lifting 20 kilos on each side, thats 60 kilos, thats like a lot more than I thought I was lifting, soon I'll be able to bench press my own bodyweight."

"Hmmmm."