Thursday, May 06, 2010

Generalised election

Someone said to me that my line that Tories are for cunts, Libs for wets, etc was a bit broad. Apart from anything else: of course it's a bit fucking broad, it's a fucking generalisation, made for the purposes of simplifying things. What kind of generalisation isn't broad?

Anyway this one happens to be true. To prove it, just ask yourself this: When was the last time you heard someone say "I really care about helping the poor, the needy, the sick, the unwanted, the homeless, the outcasts. So I'm going to join the Tories."

I mean what does it say that Simon fucking Cowell - aka Mr Nasty - is on the front page of the Sun supporting them? Does that fit with "detoxifying the brand"?

As for the Liberals, they like to have it both ways. Talk a good progressive talk, but whenever I've seen them take over a council it's always been the right-wing agenda. Sort of like a girl getting spit-roasted by a pair of footballers. They might suck the left wing's dick, but they're getting fucked by the Tories.


Swankymode said...

Eurgh that 'girl getting spit-roasted' analogy goes slightly awry at the end there Bill.

May I suggest something like 'They might suck the left wing's dick, but they're getting fucked by the opposition' coz I don't think the word 'Tories' has a common usage in footie vernacular...not last time I looked anyway, which was, erm, well once, to check out the new emirates stadium. Oh and one other time at Wembley arsenal v lens which was the biggest lame duck ever.

Bloody love the Cameron image 'omage; nice one!! You gotta laugh. In a panic-stricken kind of way.

Glad I found you; loved Notes from the Underground and good to see that you are profiling your work on a dedicated website.

You are a person tortured by loving humans on the one hand and furious ire and curmudgeonlyness on the other.

Potently observed, toxic, hilarious and London though and through.


criticalbill said...

I see what you mean, but I don't think the analogy goes as far as you're suggesting. But anyway Tories does have a place in footie vernacular: eg. "This tory's got more twists in it yet!"

Funny you've never been here before, the very first post from 2002 is about some weird event I went to with you in the Garage with Dennis McNally reading about the Grateful Dead. So in some small way you've been here since the beginning!